Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
