She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
