Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize