We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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