fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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