Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
