no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
