I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
