last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
