Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
