I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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