his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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