sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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