his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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