where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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