is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
