I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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