also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
