i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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