thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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