She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
