I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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