remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
