Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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