you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
