They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
COCAINE IS GR8
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
