I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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