Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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