I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
