i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
