Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
