part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
