I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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