I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
