so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
