she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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