I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
