Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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