your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
