I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
