she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
