i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
