two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
