I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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