I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Less talking, more tequila
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
