guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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