PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize