Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
