no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
