I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
