she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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